What happens when we disagree? How do we navigate conflicting opinions and divergent viewpoints? When words fail to resolve disputes, the consequences can be dire. The ongoing conflicts in Israel and Palestine, as well as Russia and Ukraine, illustrate how a breakdown in communication can lead to violence and chaos. But this issue isn’t limited to international relations—it permeates every aspect of human interaction.

Let’s revisit the schoolyard to understand the consequences of failed conversations. When disagreements between friends escalate, pushing and shoving can quickly devolve into tears and broken friendships. In the absence of successful resolution, conflicts can spiral out of control. The same dynamic applies to nations. Economic, political, and territorial disputes often start with disagreements that, if left unresolved, can lead to escalating tensions. Economic sanctions, cyberattacks, military mobilization, hostage-taking, and the tragic loss of civilian lives are all potential outcomes of failed conversations and can lead to war.

On January 6, 2020, millions of Americans witnessed up-close a shocking event as political disagreement escalated into a violent insurrection at the United States Capitol. The incident involved an estimated 2,500 citizens with some entering the Senate Chamber, where trapped senators hid under desks. Then-Vice President Mike Pence was escorted to a secure location because rioters threatened his and his family’s lives. By the third anniversary of the incident, over 1200 had been charged for their unlawful actions on that day, such as unauthorized entry, destruction of property, assaulting law enforcement officers, and other unlawful conduct.

When people feel unheard and desperate, they may turn to extreme measures. Especially today, accelerated by online polarization and echo chambers, unresolved outrage can make otherwise non-violent individuals succumb to some of the worst human instincts.

To make progress without sacrificing lives, we must find ways to engage in productive conversations about complex issues, temporarily pausing our own urge to speak and reactivity, to take into account different perspectives. It’s okay to disagree, but hating people for having different views is a fundamental danger to progress and social cohesion.

Social cohesion refers to the strength of shared values, behaviors, and social bonds within a community or society. It reflects the extent to which people feel connected to each other, trust one another, and work together for the common good.

In another post, we will delve deeper into the art of discussion, examining why some conversations succeed while others fail, the role of unconscious bias and assumptions, and the insights psychology can provide to help us communicate more effectively. Stay tuned as we continue to explore this critical topic.

Sources

“When Diplomacy Fails” – Foreign Policy, https://foreignpolicy.com/2022/02/28/russia-ukraine-biden-eu-when-diplomacy-fails

“Jan. 6 Charges Filed Against Massachusetts Man in Capitol Riot” – The New York Times, https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/15/us/jan-6-charges-capitol-riot-massachusetts-man.html

“What Is Unconscious Bias And How You Can Defeat It?” – Forbes, https://www.forbes.com/sites/glebtsipursky/2023/03/01/what-is-unconscious-bias-and-how-you-can-defeat-it/?sh=1fb384181f70

“Capitol Breach Cases” – https://www.justice.gov/usao-dc/capitol-breach-cases

“U.S. Capitol Violence” – https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/capitol-violence